Last week I met up for a visitation with the birth mom of my step kids. By myself, for the first time. Usually my husband takes care of meeting up with her but this time I arranged the visit. Her and I haven't gotten along like..ever, in the four years I have been in the picture. But a few months ago I was suddenly so sick and tired of all the negative thoughts, words, and feelings I've had towards her and decided to let it go. After over a year and a half of silence between her and I, I texted her four pictures. One of each of her children. And that's the keyword. HER children. She texted right back and thanked me so much! She was so grateful for those pictures. I told her that I am sorry for everything that has happened between us. I am sorry for the position she is in. And that I hope we can let go of all the negativity from the past. Do you know what she said? She said that she wanted the same thing! A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders and suddenly I was able to breath. Breath deeper. I let go of so much more than I thought I had been holding on to. I let go of the guilt I carried from being able to raise her children. Right then and there I realized how amazing forgiveness is.
And you know what? The visit was lovely. The kids were happy to see her! And she couldn't stop smiling as she interacted with them. People make mistakes in life and have to live with the consequences. She is doing that right now. She has been punished already by losing custody of her children. She lives with the pain of that everyday. There is no reason I need to punish her as well. I don't have to love her. I don't even have to like her. But I sure as hell don't have to hate her.